Check. Check. Giver or Taker?

The genuine Taker

The taker comes from a place where he genuinely thinks he is not enough or does not have enough or something is missing in his life. He often blames it on other people taking away from him or simply on circumstances. He is very invested in his story and loves talking about it!

He is always out looking for opportunities to take from others to make him feel better.

The taker loves to enrol other people in his stories and thrives on attention, sympathy or pity. He wants to hear, he deserves better and how the world is unfair towards him.

Being in the presence of a taker is very tiring and drains people of energy. So if he manages to find someone listening and sympathising he puts all his hope into this person and … of course will be disappointed as people will try to get away eventually. And so he has his next victim story!

The disguised Taker

This type thinks he is a giver. However, he is giving in order to get.

And giving in order to get is not giving.

He is expecting a certain reaction, he wants something in return, he is giving conditionally. So what he really seeks is a deal – not giving.

When he does not get the desired outcome his energy quickly changes into „demanding“, adding pressure on the people he „gave“ to so that they show up according to his expectations. He easily feels betrayed when the other party does not deliver their part of the deal.

The extreme type is the frustrated, disappointed, resigned kind of person, because he thinks he is always there for others and they are not grateful (enough) or never there for him. This is the kind of person who leans towards self pity but tries to put a brave face on. His self image is more that of a martyr who keeps giving regardless of the perceived selfishness of the rest of the world.

Realising he is actually a disguised Taker might well come as a shock to him.

The obligated Giver

Now this type thrives on doing good.

He is giving for the sake of doing the „right“ thing.

There often is a moral element in his giving and the act itself makes him feel to be a better (superior) person. A lot of the good that is done in this world is done by these people. A key element in their experience is the act of giving (up) something for the sake of others, that is to say, parting away with a limited resource, their time, money, affection. While they feel they have less of these resources as a consequence of giving to others they get satisfaction from knowing they have done „the right thing“.

The natural Giver

This type does not think in terms of giving. Giving is not an idea or a concept for this type, it is simply an expression of who he is. Showing up this way he is not even conscious of the act of giving itself.

It doesn’t appear to him as giving as the thought that he might have less after the act of giving does not occur to him.

He comes from a mindset of abundance and simply does what he does for no other reason than showing up as the person that he is.